Tuesday, October 6, 2009

She Hates Me!

So today on the bus....

I was riding home this afternoon from Beverly Hills back to the beautiful Westside.

visual: me in my oversized sunglasses that look like they came right off the face of your grandmother from the 70's and plopped right down on my nose, decked out in my usual head-to-toe lululemon outfit, fanny pack buckled up tight, blackberry in hand, and a full lululemon sustainable shopper w/ a box of Honey Nut Cheerios spilling out the top.

Alright, I climb up to that crowded #720 bus and I sit in the first seat. I cozy up next to the larger gentleman taking up 2 seats beside me. He doesnt even budge a little bit when I try to maneuver in to my seat. Dude, you are taking up 2! Anyways, there is this woman sitting across from me. Purple sweater, big black sunglasses, and a backpack on rollers that is somehow the exact same color as her sweater. I wonder, did she plan that? Well, she is just staring me down. I mean, giving me the evil eye. I smile...nothing! Of course, I am like what is this about? Does she want some Cheerios? Is she jealous of my sunglasses? Read vision painted above, not possible. I half smile this time....absolutely nothing. Maybe a little huff. What is it? I keep averting my eyes to the front window - pretending like I am checking for my stop to escape, as if they don't announce each stop. She is still staring. I did workout this morning, am I giving off an aroma...an aroma that is somehow worse than the smell of the bus?

So here I go, on and on in my head. She hates me . She just hates me. Its my Asics tennis shoes. Nope, its all this lululemon stuff, I know it! Its my youth. It is this blemish on my face, I thought I covered it up! Its that I am not at work, but neither is she. It is my chipper endorphin-induced attitude....

Should I just ask her, "What is it heavy breathing, purple sweater-wearing, big black sunglasses, backpack on wheels for convenience owner?"

Then, her head falls to the side. Yep, she's sleeping.

She is fast asleep.

Look at me. So selfish. So egotistical. So me, me, me. As if this woman would have been looking at me and thinking all those things. She has bigger and better fish to fry, I know! I really am a snob on a bus.

As we finally come to my stop, I thank the bus driver ever so quietly, as to not wake my sleeping busmate. I jump off into the street, walking home like a dog with her tail between her legs, feeling so guilty and disappointed with myself. And disappointment is the worst!

So, what did I learn? People can be so harsh and I can easily become one of those people. I was a big snob. On a bus. Making up this story that I am being judged to the 100th power, when all along it is me who is judging. Me who is being so vane. Me that was acting better than another beautiful human being. I could be thinking of ways to better use my time, or my workout for tomorrow, or how to make this world better. Hell, I could be taking a nap!

Think....before you think, idiot!

That is what the Los Angeles Public Tranportation system taught me today.

1 comment:

  1. being judgmental is an instinct or mentality we as humans unfortunately have. the key is realizing our mistakes, to make better decisions in the future which you have by taking pride in your decision making. think before you think very strong words. very nice!